What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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