btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
