That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
