If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
