I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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