explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
