you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
