WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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