You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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