I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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