One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
