what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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