Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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