Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
