So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want to make out with him forever
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
