Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
