Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
