I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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