SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
