i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize