I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
