Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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