Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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