38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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