Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
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Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize