he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize