What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
