so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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