don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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