We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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