He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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