I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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