So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
