Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
