i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
