dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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