She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
