they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
