Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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