somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
