is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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