she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
