why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Your face is a jimmy john
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
