If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we made out on top of his cat.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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