Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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