I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
