New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
