dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
