I think I died a long time ago.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
