it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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