Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
