with your own penis?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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