What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
