I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
