I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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