how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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