I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
