she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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