we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
