ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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