hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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