the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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